One of my favorite TV shows was “Mad Men,” a period drama about an advertising agency in New York in the 1960s.  One of the things I found so compelling about the show was how strictly it adhered to every detail of the time period — from the costumes and set design, to the cultural norms of the time.  This included the discrimination and harassment the women in the office endured, not to mention the fact that (at the beginning of the series) not one of those women worked outside the secretary pool.  

Eventually in the storyline, one secretary, Peggy Olsen, had the courage to show her creative skills to the men in charge and was promoted to copywriter, the only female one in the company.  By the end of the seven-year series, Peggy was on her way to being an executive at a top advertising agency.

Peggy was based on real-life copywriter and advertising genius Jane Maas, who became only the second woman officer in the history of advertising giant Ogilvy & Mather. In 1964, Maas landed a job as a junior copywriter at Ogilvy & Mather, writing ads for everything from Dove soap to American Express. She rose to become a creative director before leaving in 1976 to join Wells Rich Greene, where she created the iconic “I Love New York” ads and wrote the classic book, How to Advertise.

I’m grateful for the trailblazers of my industry who had the courage to aim high and succeeded in breaking into what was a men’s-only world in the mid-20th century. Having more women in design has only made the industry better.

​

Do me a favor and go to your website and pick a random page to read. 
How many times does that page say...
"we",
"us", or
your "church name"?

Now count how many times it says “you” or “your” "you’re"....

My dad did not share with me his genetic disposition for placing bets, buying weekly lottery tickets and then winning 80% of the time even at slot machines - but if he had, I would bet my retirement funds that the "we's" out pace the "you's". 

"For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” - Luke 14:11

Although not always intentional, we have fallen into an unhelpful habit of talking about ourselves, our church, our ministries all too often. 

Why is this a problem you may ask? Let's think about this scenario as real people having a conversation. 

If your best friend were to only talk about themselves, their experiences and their hardships, you would consider them self centered and hard to be around.

If they fail to ask you any questions about your life or your perspective on the topic at hand, you would find it hard to continue to be in a relationship with this person. Frankly, the title of BFF would most likely be revoked. 

Potential worshippers, visitors or guests - whatever you wish to call those not yet connected to your congregation in some way - are doing the same thing.

Walking away. Not engaging. Not taking the next step in relationship with a congregation. 

We need to live into our call as Jesus' followers and humble ourselves in order to garner trust with new-to-us folks. We need to reframe how we speak to those looking for a church community.​

Here are some steps you can take now: 

1. Throw out the list of ministries. 
We regularly see a list of ministries or committees on church websites. Yet, these lists only glorify the amount of work these teams do rather than how lives and relationships are being impacted in the midst of these ministries. 

From a new person's perspective - they don't care much about how busy your teams are and frankly, they aren't looking to join another team, so it is a fool's errand to continue to list ministries as if they are products that a consumer can add to their cart. 

A new person wants to know:

• ​what they can expect if they participate
• what your congregation values
• if they and their loved ones will be accepted into the community. 

Instead, highlight the values of the congregation (i.e. gathering for worship, building relationships, radical welcome to all God's people, serving those in need in the community and world...). You will find when you center the values of the congregation on the website, that sharing about ministries happens naturally. 

For example, if serving the surrounding community is a value, you will find it easy to share all the ways that a person can get connected to feeding the hungry, supporting the unhoused or using their knitting skills to make baby blankets for the newest saints at the women's shelter. 

2. Change every "we" statement to a "you" statement. 
When writing content for any communication, especially your website, try putting the reader/visitor first with every statement you make. It is easier to talk about ourselves first so this will take a concerted effort to change your focus each time you go to write. 

Some examples of how this reframing will change your language:

• "Join us for Easter worship" >>> "You & your loved ones are invited to worship the Risen Christ on Easter Sunday at 10:00 AM."
• "Our church offers Sunday School" >>> "Children from 3 years old to 5th grade learn about God's love for all people during Sunday School." 
• "Every Saturday we serve the homeless at the local shelter" >>> "Serve your unhoused neighbors by packing lunches on a Saturday at the local shelter."

3. Use storytelling more than advertising.
When we adapt our thought process to sharing the good news about what God is up to versus advertising the next food drive - it’s hard to make the church the center of the conversation. God and the lives changed becomes the focus.

Here are some good storytelling examples: